


The Ring [ON HIATUS]

by Kind Silver Butterfly (itanejiluver)



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Matoba is slippery af, Natsume is way to kind to everyone, and also confused about his own feelings, matonatsu, rating may change later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-05-30 13:06:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15097313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itanejiluver/pseuds/Kind%20Silver%20Butterfly
Summary: Matoba shows up at Natsume's door one night with a gift. Can one ever really trust a promise from Matoba?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I've been reading Natsume Yuujinchou for YEARS, and I love this manga and anime so much. This is my first work in a while, and also my first in this fandom, so characters will develop and change a bit throughout this story. I'm so excited to share this, and I hope you all enjoy!

**Chapter 1**

 

Natsume sat back on the porch and stared out at the yard. The clothes on the line flapped faintly in the breeze, and Natsume wiped the sweat off of his forehead. Summer in the countryside was _hot_ , and he’d agreed to help Touko with her chores today.

Nyanko-sensei came trundling up the path and settled down at Natsume’s side. Natsume instinctively reached out and pulled him into his lap, and Nyanko-sensei purred contentedly.

Natsume stared out blankly at the yard, thinking on his life. As a child, he never would’ve imagined his life would be this… _content_. Even though he was set to graduate from high school soon and his prospects were a little uncertain, he knew that the Fujiwaras, and all of his friends would be there for him if he needed them.

Well, not _everything_ was making him content. Natsume sighed and stroked Nyanko-sensei’s head a little harder than he meant to, and Nyanko growled at him before rolling over and falling back asleep. His relationship with the exorcist community was still complicated and dark. There were still many exorcists who believe that all Yokai were monsters, and Natsume butted heads with them on occasion when he was saving his spirit friends in the forest. Additionally, things with Natori had gotten…complicated. Their friendship was still strong as ever, but Natori was just too overprotective. Natsume had figured out that Natori was tracking him with paper dolls a few months ago, but he didn’t know how to tell Natori that he was fine on his own. The reality was, Natori had often swooped in to save the day at the last moment, and Natsume was forever grateful—but it was also frustrating to feel like his every move was being watched.

Things could be worse, though. Exorcist activity in the area had gone quiet, giving Natsume some time to actually study for his exams and spend time out in the human world. The Matoba clan, and the heir to Matoba hadn’t reared their heads or made any attempt to pull Natsume into any schemes or games in the past month.

“Peace and quiet,” Natsume said aloud, his hand stilling over Nyanko’s ears. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”

Nyanko harrumphed and jumped out of Natsume’s lap. “It only lasts for so long,” he said wisely.

“Are you heading out?” Natsume lay back on the porch and turned his gaze from the yard up to the sky. The sun was starting to set—the clouds were streaked with gold, purple and pink.

“I’ll be back,” Nyanko said dismissively, and waddled off. Natsume watched him go and shook his head—Nyanko _really_ needed to go on a diet soon if he wanted to be able to walk normally.

“I guess it would be weird if Nyanko-sensei was skinny, though…” Natsume mumbled, folding his arms back behind his head.

There was a rustling, and the sound of the gate swinging open. “Shigeru-san?” Natsume sat up, his lips lifting into a smile—only to jump to his feet, an ice cold pit settling in his stomach.

“ _What are you doing here?”_ Natsume hissed with fury, his fists clenched at his sides.

Seiji Matoba, the head of the Matoba clan, gave him a pleasant smile. “I came to visit you, of course.”

Natsume gritted his teeth. “I thought I told you not to come here.”

“It was an urgent need.” Matoba stuck his hands in his pockets with easy grace. Natsume noted that unlike his usual athletic wear or kimono, Matoba was wearing a suit today.

Natsume narrowed his eyes and glared at Matoba suspiciously. He still remembered the first time Matoba had come to his house, and the whole adventure that had ensued. Matoba had used him to his own ends to boost his reputation, while Natsume had been harassed by all of the exorcists who thought that he was Matoba’s shiki.

Natsume scoffed. As if he would ever go through that again! Natsume opened his mouth to tell Matoba to go away, but paused when Touko called out from within the house.

“Takashi, is someone there?”

Natsume went white and opened and closed his mouth. Matoba raised an eyebrow at him.

“No, there’s no one here!” Natsume called back after a moment.

“This will only take a moment,” Matoba said evenly. “I have something for you.”

Natsume frowned at that. Gifts from Matoba couldn’t mean anything good. “What?”

“Here.” Matoba pulled a small blue box out of his pocket and held it out. “Take it.”

Natsume stared as Matoba’s hand trembled, his fingers tightening erratically around the box. “Are you okay?” Natsume hesitated for a moment. “Do you need to come inside?”

Matoba’s lips tightened for a moment, but then he seemed to relax. “You truly are a kind child,” he said after a moment. “No. I’ll be fine. Just take the box.”

Natsume didn’t move. “I don’t want to be drawn into whatever it is you’re planning.”

Matoba seemed to be restraining himself from rolling his eyes with great difficulty. “It’s not cursed,” Matoba said patiently. “Take the box and I will be on my way.”

 “Takashi?” Touko’s voice was getting louder, and there was the sound of footsteps on the stairs. “Is someone there?”

Natsume hesitated, his hand jerking at his side. The sound of Touko’s footsteps grew louder, and he seemed to snap.

He reached out and grabbed the box from Matoba’s hand, stuffing it into his back pockets. Matoba’s eyes crinkled up into his fake smile of his, and he quietly slipped out of the front gate just as Touko came out of the front door.

“Takashi?” She xblinked in confusion.

“There was no one here,” Natsume said hurriedly, turning to face her. “You must have missed when I called out to you.”

“That’s odd.” Touko gave the front gate a troubled look, but there was no one but her and Takashi in the yard. “I thought I heard someone.”


	2. Chapter 2

 

Late after dinner, when he was done with his homework and showered away his sweat from a long day of chores, Natsume lay back on his futon and rolled over on his side. Moonlight shone through the curtain, and Natsume could make out the shape of the small velvet box sitting on his desk.

Natsume sighed and sat up, reaching for the box. He held it close to his eyes, searching it for any marks or seals. He hesitated, and then shook it gently near his ears. There was no sound within. He brought it up to eye level again and stared at it. His fingers itched to lift the lid, but he knew he should wait for Nyanko-sensei.

There was a rustle at the door, and Natsume’s door popped open as Nyanko-sensei pushed himself through the crack and stumbled into the room.

“Your breath reeks,” Natsume said flatly.

Nyanko just laughed and settled down by his hips. “What’s that?”

Natsume lay down again, and unwillingly rolled over to face Nyanko. “A box.” He held it out. “What do you think?”

Nyanko leaned forward and sniffed it. “Smells normal to me,” he yawned, and then hiccupped. “Where’d you get it from?”

Natsume hesitated. “I found it,” he blurted out.

Nyanko hiccupped again and rolled onto his side. He peered at Natsume in the moonlight, his eyes becoming wide and frighteningly dark for a moment. “Good night, Natsume.”

Natsume let out a mental sigh of relief. “Good night,” he said softly, rolling away so that he wasn’t being hit with waves of Nyanko’s sake breath.

Why had he lied? Natsume shut his eyes tightly and grimaced. Either way, he knew what he should do tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

The next day, Natsume slipped the small box into his school bag. He put on his best cheerful face and tried to appear absolutely normal to Shigeru ad Touko as he ate his breakfast and rushed out the door.

“You seem nervous.” Nyanko poked his head out of the bag and glared up at Natsume.

Natsume scowled, letting his fake smile drop from his face. “I’m not.”

“You have that box in your bag,” Nyanko complained. “It keeps poking into me.”

“You could always get out of my bag and walk,” Natsume suggested.

“As if,” Nyanko scoffed.

“Hm.” Natsume pursed his lips, his mind whirring. He had a feeling that he could handle Matoba in his weakened state on his own—and somehow, his instincts were also screaming that he _really_ didn’t want to get Nyanko involved in what was happening. But how could he get rid of Nyanko for the afternoon? Nyanko-sensei always seemed to have a special instinct for when Natsume was trying to shake him off.

To Natsume’s utter surprise, Nyanko-sensei wiggled out of the bag and dropped to the ground with a loud thud. “Well, Natsume, I’m going to be gone for the day.”

“Doing what?” Natsume peered down at Nyanko. “Is there a drinking festival again?”

“How did you _know_?” Nyanko asked delightedly, his body wiggling with excitement. “I’ll be back at night. Try not to get in trouble!” He dashed off into the long grass, and Natsume stared after him.

“Don’t get into trouble,” Natsume mumbled. “Yeah, right.”

Somehow, he managed to stumble through school without anyone noticing anything amiss. It was true that his friends had grown more and more observant of his moods over the years, but Natsume could still fool them into thinking things were fine if he wanted to.

At least, that’s what he liked to think.

Natsume packed up his things and rushed out of school. He had to think about how he wanted to go about this—Matoba could be anywhere in the area. Natsume doubted that Matoba would’ve gone far; he had noticed that the exorcist seemed to enjoy sticking around to watch whatever he was planning. But the Matoba Clan had so many villas and locations. How would he know which one to go to?

Natsume groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. He really hadn’t thought this through—but there was no other way to try and get the box back to Matoba.

Natsume let out a resigned sigh, and started walking. He would try and get to the branch location, if he remembered the way. He would decide what to do next once he got there.

As Natsume left the quiet suburbs of his school neighborhood, the streets started getting busier. The loud chatter of couples on dates, of businessmen running from place to place, of children laughing and crying filled the air. Natsume stuck his tongue out at a huge billboard for Natori’s new movie, ignoring the weird looks he got from passing adults.

Natsume was so busy trying to hide his face in his scarf to avoid the stares that he nearly missed it. He patted his scarf in place over his nose and looked up, just in time to see a flash of long black hair whisk around the corner in front of him.

Natsume frowned and narrowed his eyes. This was just too _easy_ —first, Nyanko-sensei left him alone on a whim. Then, he stumbled into Matoba here? If this was one of Matoba’s traps, it was sloppy.

The idea made Natsume hesitate. If this _was_ a trap, then should he be worried about Nyanko-sensei? He knew that his chubby guardian could hold his own, but Matoba was tricky.

But this also might be his only chance to return the box. He knew that Matoba was constantly shifting between locations, and he didn’t want to risk losing this chance. Natsume secured the bag over his shoulder and ran around the corner.

“Matoba!” He shouted down the street, running to catch up with the man.

Matoba stopped and turned around, waiting for Natsume to catch up. “My, my.” His eyes crinkled up into that fake smile of his. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Let’s call it coincidence,” Natsume said flatly. “I came here to—“

“Let’s talk inside,” Matoba interrupted him. “As you know, I dislike being out in the open for too long.”

Natsume paused at that, glancing from the seal over Matoba’s eye. “…Okay.”

Matoba lead him further down the street to a shabby looking inn.

“This is where you’re staying?” Natsume asked skeptically. It didn’t really fit Matoba’s atmosphere of refinement.

“Certain circumstances called for it,” Matoba said pleasantly, entering into the inn and leading Natsume up a flight of stairs to a door that looked ready to fall out of its frame. “I apologize for not being able to provide better hospitality.”

“It’s fine,” Natsume said automatically, toeing his shoes off at the entrance and trailing behind Matoba as they entered the room.

To his surprise, Matoba went directly to a corner of the room. There were brushes, pots of ink and several large sheets of paper. Natsume supposed that it made sense for him to have objects for exorcism on hand.

“I’d like to see how far your lessons with Natori are going.” Matoba turned around to face him, his polite mask in place. “Draw out an exorcism circle for me.”

Natsume frowned. “Is there something you want to exorcise?”

“No, I’d just like to see what my…colleague has been teaching you.”

Natsume felt a hot flash of irritation. “I’m not here to play games,” he said hotly, thrusting his hand inside his bag. “I came to—”

“I won’t listen to what you have to say until you draw the circle,” Matoba said firmly.

Natsume sighed and folded his arms. Something was going on here, but what was it? Was Matoba’s whole plan to lure him here and exorcise something? But as far Natsume could tell, there weren’t any strong spiritual presences in the inn besides Matoba’s.

“Fine,” Natsume said resignedly, and picked up the brush. He began to draw the circle, occasionally glancing up at Matoba, trying to figure out what was so _off_ about his manner, but Matoba just smiled calmly at him.

“There.” Natsume got to his feet in the circle. “Satisfied?”

“Hm.” Matoba walked up to the circle and walked around it, inspecting the edges. “Hold out your hand.”

“What?” Natsume recoiled, but Matoba had looked up from the ground and had fixed him with a steely glare.

“ _Do it_ ,” Matoba said harshly. “Quickly, Natsume.”

Natsume, utterly confused by the situation, but sensing the urgency in Matoba’s tone, held out his hand.

Matoba’s lips twisted up into a satisfied smirk and he lunged forward, grabbing Natsume’s hand and pulling him close. Natsume let out a shout and tried to push him away, but the circle was alight with blue flames, and when he looked above Matoba’s shoulder, he could see a white spirit with a blue mask circling overhead before it flew out the window in a burst of light.

Natsume knees buckled as he tried to process what had just happened, but then he realized that Matoba’s arms were still around him, holding him tightly to his chest.

“Let go!” Natsume pushed him away, stumbling out of the circle. “What…what just happened?”

  
Matoba hummed, dusting off his sleeves and looking rather pleased with himself. “I was being possessed by a rather troublesome spirit. It caught me when my guard was down, and prevented me from seeking assistance from my clan. Fortunately, you were able to help.”

Natsume bit his lip. He didn’t really know how to feel about the situation—obviously, Matoba had been in a lot of trouble, but Natsume had experienced the painful nature of exorcisms long ago, and he couldn’t help but hope that the youkai had escaped unscathed.

“You couldn’t get help from your clan…but then why was I able to help?” Natsume frowned. “Well, never mind. I just came here to give this back to you.” He went over to his bag and pulled out the box. “I don’t want any part in whatever game you’re playing.”

“Did you ever open the box?” Matoba had an odd look on his face. He’d dropped the polite smile he’d been wearing, and his mouth was thin. There was something dark and unidentifiable twisting in his eye, and Natsume instinctively took a step back.

“No.” Natsume hated how his voice wavered for a moment. It didn’t do to show any kind of weakness to Matoba.

“I told you it wasn’t cursed,” Matoba said, his mouth softening slightly.

“Why would I believe something like that?” Natsume shot back.

“Open it.” The darkness in Matoba’s eyes seemed to recede slightly, and Natsume breathed a little easier. “I promise, it’s perfectly safe.”

Natsume studied the older man in front of him, tilting his head slightly to the side. Matoba never outright lied to him—the lies were always in the way that he twisted his words. But that promise had been so genuine, Natsume wondered if he could actually trust his words.

“If anything happens, you can expect my guardian to come after me,” Natsume said after a moment.

“But of course.” Matoba folded his arms and bowed his head in acquiescence.

Natsume stared at the box in his hand for a moment. His heart beat slightly faster in anticipation, and he made sure to hold the box at an arm’s length just in case anything happened. He flicked the lid open with his thumb, and stared.

“What…is this?” Natsume couldn’t take his eyes off of the box.

Nestled in folds of luxuriously soft-looking cloth was a ring. The ring had a light blue stone embedded in the center, and the silver around it had been twisted and molded to look like a lotus pad before tapering off into a smooth band.

“What do you think?”

Natsume’s head snapped up and he took another step backward, his shoulder blades bumping into the wall behind him. When had Matoba gotten so close?

“It’s a perfectly normal ring,” Matoba said softly, lifting his hand to show Natsume. “I have one as well.”

Natsume opened and closed his mouth. He didn’t know what to think. “Are you mocking me?”

“Natsume, I’m wounded. Between the two of us, it appears that _you_ are the one who isn’t being serious.” The darkness was back in Matoba’s expression, but Natsume resisted the urge to back away again.

“I don’t understand,” Natsume said honestly.

Matoba laughed at that, and the sound was bitter, curdling in Natsume’s ears and running circles in his heart. “The youkai that possessed me was a rather enthusiastic matchmaking god. If I didn’t go in the direction it encouraged me…well.”

Natsume’s eyes widened. He had so many questions, he didn’t even know where to begin. Had the youkai hurt Matoba badly? How long had Matoba felt like this? Were Matoba’s feelings even real, now that the youkai was gone? But he had told Natsume to take the ring even after the youkai had escaped. But when had this all started? Weren’t relationships supposed to reflect kindness, and even affection towards the other person? His encounters with Matoba had always been sticky with anger, revulsion and fear.

“I won’t take the ring back,” Matoba said, breaking the silence. “It’s yours to keep.”

Natsume’s hands clenched into fists, and the box snapped shut in his hand. “I don’t believe you. You can’t blame your actions on youkai—this was all just a trick, wasn’t it? You wanted me to exorcise that spirit for you. You put everything in place today. This was a sloppy trap, coming from you.”

Matoba shook his head. “That youkai was powerful. It had the power to influence thoughts and events so that we would meet. I don’t know what’s happened to you since last night, Natsume, but I can assure that I didn’t lure you here for my own ends.”

“But you _did_ bring me here. You brought me here to exorcise that spirit!”

“Ah.” Matoba looked thoughtful for a moment. “Perhaps what I meant to say is that I didn’t expect to run into you at all today. That youkai guided your path here. Not me.”

Natsume glared at him suspiciously. Matoba’s story _could_ be possible, but it all seemed so very unlikely. True, Matoba had always been interested in his spiritual powers, but he had always gone for a more direct approach—not something like _this_.

“Did you think that the shock factor would get to me?” Natsume asked coldly, leaning down to pick up his bag. “Only an idiot would fall for this. I’m not joining your clan.” He shouldered his bag and mentally prepared himself to push Matoba out of the way so that he could get out of this place.

“You don’t have to,” Matoba said quietly.

Natsume paused. “What?”

“You don’t have to join Matoba,” Matoba said evenly, leaning in slightly. “I won’t force you. Not like this.”

Natsume stared. “I’m leaving,” he said at last, side-stepping Matoba and running out the door. He kept running, clattering down the steps and bursting out into the street. People stared at him as he ran past, but Natsume could only think about what had just happened.

What had Matoba meant by all this? He couldn’t possibly feel affection—to Matoba, everything was a tool to be picked up, used, and then disposed of. But if Matoba wasn’t proposing without genuine feeling, then why was he doing this?

Natsume arrived on the threshold of the Fujiwara’s house and put his hands on his knees, gasping for breath. Something fell to the ground, and Natsume realized that he’d carried the ring box the entire way home from the inn.

Natsume contemplated it for a moment, and then picked it up and put it in his bag. Somehow, he couldn’t find it within himself to throw it away just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a lot of stuff happened in this chapter o.0 I apologize for the OCness and clumsiness of the movement ;; I hope to improve as I keep writing for the fandom! Let me know what you thought about the events of the story, and I hope to post another chapter next week!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 

“Takashi?”

“Yes?” Natsume’s head jerked up.

Touko and Shigeru were both watching him with concerned expressions. “Is everything alright?”

Natsume thought for a moment. He never told them about his youkai problems, but this was actually a human problem for once.

But this was a really _awkward_ human problem. He had done his best to keep his dealings with Matoba separate from his peaceful family life—he couldn’t just throw away all his efforts now.

“I’m fine,” Natsume said, forcing himself to smile. “Nothing’s wrong.”

Touko and Shigeru traded a troubled look, but didn’t push him any further.

“Well?” Nyanko-sensei demanded, once they were back up in his room. “I can smell that nasty exorcist on you. What have you been doing?”

Natsume blinked in surprise, and then remembered how Matoba had grabbed him. For some reason, he couldn’t stop the flush that rose in his cheeks.

“Nothing,” Natsume said after a moment. “It was a coincidence.”

“Matoba and coincidence don’t go together,” Nyanko sniffed. “Be on your guard, Natsume. Maybe I’ll follow you to school tomorrow.”

Natsume shrugged and sat down at his desk. “Fine.”

Nyanko gave him a suspicious look and settled down at his feet. “Dummy.”

Natsume just reached down and patted Nyanko’s head.

 

 

 

Things were largely uneventful in the following weeks after the encounter. Even though Natsume heard whispers of Matoba’s presence in the forest, they never crossed paths. Was Matoba doing this as a gesture of goodwill?

Or perhaps, the more likely option was that Matoba had decided that Natsume wouldn’t be useful in whatever he was planning now. Natsume scoffed and kicked at the sidewalk, his hands tucked into his pockets.

“Natsume?”

Natsume jerked his head up. “What?”

Natori was looking at him with those deceptively gentle eyes. “Is everything alright?”

Natsume had learned to heed Sensei’s warning about Natori’s fake smiles. When he had first discovered the paper dolls following him around, he’d first felt worried that Natori was wasting his time on him. But then, he realized, he and Natori were friends—but then he’d also felt angry that Natori felt the need to watch over him so closely. He’d struggled so much with his emotions, he’d been unable to talk to Natori about it.

Natori was uncertain, looking for a purpose. His actions reflected that uncertainty—always hiding what he really felt, always keeping his cards close to his chest. Natsume hated and loved it equally.

“I’m fine,” Natsume said calmly, hurrying to catch up with him.

“It’s not often that I see you sighing like a moody teenager.”

Natsume paused; it seemed like Natori was leaving something left unsaid, as usual. When Natori didn’t continue, Natsume smiled and turned away. “I spend too much time assisting you for that to be true.”

Natori smiled and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Oh, I forgot.” Natsume dug around in his bag, and pulled out a jar of jam. “Touko sends her regards.”

Natori took it with a mildly pained expression. “I still have six unopened ones in my apartment.”

Natsume snorted. “You could give them away as gifts,” he suggested.

“I would never,” Natori said, mildly offended. “Anyways, I wanted to tell you—I’m going overseas for a shoot for a month. Make sure to stay out of trouble.”

Natsume had an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. “I’ll try my best,” he promised.

Natori smiled and ruffled his hair. “Sensei, you’ll take care of him won’t you?”

“Hmph!” Nyanko stuck his nose in the air, but Natori just laughed.

 Natsume waved goodbye, and when Natori’s back vanished from view, his gaze turned up to the sky.

The assignment he’d been helping Natori with had been tricky. An old shiki, determined to serve the family name after its master had passed, had bound itself to a dark spirit that had entered the house. The shiki was doing its best to keep the demon bound, but the demon’s power had started leaking past the seals.

Natsume’s eyes welled up as he thought of the memories that the shiki had imparted to him. There was joy, when its’ master had been a live, long ago. But after that, there had been pain— _so much_ pain.

Natsume was drawn to an old thought he’d been carrying for a while. _If it had been me, what would I have done? Would I have been able to bear it?_

Natsume reached up and scrubbed at his eyes. He wasn’t a youkai—he didn’t need to compare himself to them—and yet, he found himself understanding the youkai’s sacrifice. The choice to sacrifice himself to save his loved ones was a choice that he knew all too well.

Suddenly, Natsume remembered a different encounter. Matoba’s hands on his shoulders, shoving him against the wall, Matoba’s voice low and urgent, telling him that youkai had stolen his heart…

Natsume groaned and lowered his hand. He looked down at Nyanko, only to find that Nyanko had been staring up at him with an odd expression on his face.

“What?” Natsume demanded, a flush rising to his cheeks. There was no way Nyanko-sensei could actually know what he was thinking.

Nyanko shrugged and licked his paw. “I want squid,” he declared.

“Fine,” Natsume agreed, still a little caught up in his thoughts. “I’ll buy you some.”

“Race you there!” Nyanko shot off down the path, and Natsume took off after him, laughing even as he scolded him.

Later that night, when Natsume was in his room and Nyanko was fast asleep on his cushion, Natsume quietly got up and went to his desk. He pulled the small blue box out of a drawer and opened it.

The ring looked exactly the same as it had when Natsume had first seen it, weeks ago. It glinted quietly in the moonlight, and Natsume slowly traced his finger around the lotus pad surrounding the jewel.

He looked at his desk. There was a long piece of yarn, but Natsume made a face—the quiet elegance of the ring didn’t match well with the soft yarn. There was some string, some thread…

Natsume’s eyes landed on the silver chain coiled up next to his lamp. He’d bought a pack of them to give to Touko when they’d made pendants in his art class. There was an extra one, and this seemed like a good use as any.

Natsume opened the chain and put it through the ring. He clasped it shut and tucked it under his shirt, and stood up, wincing a little when the coldness of the metal stung his skin for a moment. He crawled back under his blankets, careful not to wake Nyanko sensei.

No visitors came to greet him in the night. Natsume slept well, one hand curled loosely in front of his chest, keeping the necklace in place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rather short chapter, but I wanted to post something this week. I realize now that this would probably have worked better as a drabble series, but oh well! I hope you enjoyed, and comments are always appreciated!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are many references to a specific chapter of Natsume Yuujinchou that hasn't been scanlated yet. The lovely mods of APTA-scans have been providing chapter summaries on their tumblr, and here is the link for the first summary of c. 94 pt 1: https://apta-scans.tumblr.com/post/168093818191/natsume-yuujinchou-chapter-92-summary 
> 
> Reading all 3 parts will probably deepen your understanding of this chapter, so I would recommend going to do that first before you read this! (But it isn't totally necessary.)

 

Wearing the necklace seemed to change something.

It wasn’t as if his daily life changed at all—he still went to school, hung out with his friends, and returned names. Nevertheless, Natsume had to accept the fact that something _within_ himself had changed. Wearing the ring meant that he accepted that Matoba crossed his mind in ways that weren’t the same as his friends and family. Natsume wasn’t sure how to feel about that—after all, it wasn’t like he could just forget about everything Matoba had done to him.

“What’s in a name?” Natsume mumbled to himself, quietly shredding a leaf between his fingers. He knew the answer to that—names had power, not just over youkai, but between humans as well. Names gave connection, family—maybe even destiny.

“Quoting Shakespeare to yourself?”

Natsume shrieked and flung the leaf up into the air, scattering the bits and pieces around them.

Nishimura just laughed.

Natsume took a few deep breaths as Nishimura settled in beside him. “No Kitamoto with you today?”

“He’s still running errands for the teacher. I just finished early.” Nishimura yawned and stretched his arms over his head.

“Ah.” Natsume settled back into the bench. “You know English literature now?”

“What can I say? Exams are soon, and cram school is ramping up.” Nishimura flashed Natsume a proud grin, and Natsume answered him with a quiet smile.

“I was just thinking to myself,” Natsume said after a moment.

“About what?” Nishimura pressed. “You have a girl you like or something?” The _finally_ went unspoken.

Natsume shook his head. “Not exactly,” he said dryly.

“Huh?” Nishimura stared at him. “What is it then?”

Natsume gave Nishimura a thoughtful look. Between all of his friends, Nishimura was definitely the one who thought with his heart before his head. Maybe he would have some good advice about this.

“Nishimura…what would you do if…” Natsume paused. How could he sum up the strange situation? “Someone tried to, er, befriend you, but you disagreed with them on…well, everything?”

Nishimura blinked. “I wouldn’t be friends with them,” he said. “Isn’t it that simple?”

“I guess,” Natsume said slowly. “It’s actually quite complex.”

“Tell me more,” Nishimura said seriously.

“Well, they were pretty awful towards me when we first met, but…they do try and protect me, in their own way.” Natsume stared up at the sky, thinking. It was true—he remembered how Matoba had rushed to cover him when the eye-eating youkai had attacked. He remembered how Matoba had pushed him away from the youkai at the Miharu mansion. He even remembered trying to comfort Matoba that day, believing that he’d seen through part of Matoba’s mask. Did he really know anything about Matoba?

“Protect you,” Nishimura said slowly. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Natsume hesitated. “At least, I think so.”

Nishimura leaned forward, and suddenly grabbed his hands. “Natsume,” he said very seriously. “Is someone from your childhood bothering you again? You know that if they are, Kitamoto, Tanuma and I will go beat the crap out of them!” He hesitated. “Well, maybe just me and Kitamoto. Tanuma’s a big guy, but he still gets really sick every now and then.”

Natsume blinked, and then laughed, gently squeezing Nishimura’s hands. “I know,” he said gently. “It’s not like that, I promise.”

Nishimura gave him a suspicious look and relented, letting go. “Fine,” he grumbled. “I guess…well, you know you can come to me about anything right? I know you’re really close with Taki and Tanuma, but…I’m here for you too.”

Natsume smiled and nodded gently. “I know. Thank you.”

Natsume had to bite his lip to keep his smile from broadening when Nishimura blushed and got to his feet, coughing awkwardly.

“It’s time to go back to class.” Nishimura gave him an embarrassed, but proud grin. “Let’s go.”

“Okay.” Natsume got to his feet, and followed his friend back to class.

 

 

 

Natsume felt restless that night. Wearing the ring was a form of admission—that he actually wanted to see Matoba again. This was ridiculous, nonsensical…even dangerous. And yet, Natsume couldn’t help but reach up and pat the ring under his shirt every once in a while, just to make sure it was there.

Natsume didn’t think his attraction to Matoba was rooted in the novelty that someone might desire him—he had grown used to that idea years ago, after settling down with the Fujiwaras. And after all, Matoba had expressed interest in them back then, but Natsume’s sense of self-preservation had kept him safe. Now, though, it seemed like that self-preservation had evaporated into thin air.

As far as Natsume knew, no one in their school was planning on getting married right out of high school. It was true, the town was a quaint, mildly old-fashioned place, but even the idea of marrying young seemed to have faded with the past.

Natsume snorted. He was getting far too ahead of himself. This was just a ring—Matoba had called it a gift, not a promise. Besides, Matoba was a powerful clan head—politics would probably dictate that he would eventually have to marry a respectable girl and continue the line.

Natsume knew he was probably being used, but…

Natsume groaned and sat up in his futon. It was useless, letting these thoughts just roll around in his head. He felt unusually reckless—sensei was gone for the night, visiting some old acquaintances at a nearby mountain shrine. Nothing would happen—he’d take some talismans along with him for protection, and he’d be back in a few minutes. It would just be a short walk.

He shrugged on his coat and quietly slipped through the house and out the door, heading into the forest. He walked along a clear path he had discovered last year; for some reason, youkai didn’t seem to stumble across this path too often, although that might have been more due to Nyanko-sensei’s presence than anything else.

The forest was quiet. The cool air felt refreshing against Natsume’s flushed cheeks. Natsume walked along, enjoying the stars and moonlight lighting his way. Eventually, he ended up at a forest clearing and settled down on the roots of a large tree. He blew on his fingers to warm them up and shivered, clutching his shoulders. He should head back now—he’d come far enough.

There was a rustle in the bushes, and Natsume froze. He slowly got to his feet, his eyes scanning the bushes across the clearing intently. “Is someone there?”

“Natsume?”

Natsume gasped and whirled around when the voice came from right behind him.

“I didn’t mean to startle you.” Matoba stood a few feet behind him, leaning against the tree trunk with an easy grace. The sleeves of his kimono fluttered in a soft breeze, and for a moment, Natsume thought that Matoba looked quite beautiful.

The wind stopped, and Natsume snapped out of his daze. “You didn’t scare me.” He folded his arms over his chest and scowled. “What are you doing here?”

Matoba raised his eyebrow and pushed off of the trunk, picking his way over the roots of the tree until he was only a few inches away from Natsume. “What are _you_ doing here?” He eyed Natsume’s thick coat zipped up over his pajama pants, and Natsume flushed in embarrassment.

“I was just taking a walk,” Natsume said softly. He wasn’t sure why he kept his voice low.

“Hm.” Matoba stared at him for a moment, and then reached out. Natsume stared at his hand uncomprehendingly, and then jolted when he realized that Matoba was tugging the silver chain out of his coat. How had Matoba even seen it?

Natsume stumbled backward, a protest on his lips, but Matoba moved quicker than he could follow. Matoba grabbed his left shoulder with one hand and pulled on the chain with his right. Natsume yelped and tried to cover it up, but the truth was out. The ring hung limply on the chain, stretched out over the folds of his coat. Matoba stared at it for a moment, his eyes glinting strangely in the moonlight.

Natsume got a hold of himself and stepped backwards, out of Matoba’s grip. “This doesn’t mean anything.”

Matoba regarded him for a moment. “Oh?” His hand fell limply against his side. “Then why didn’t you want me to see it?”

Natsume blushed bright red and fell silent.

Matoba tilted his head to the side, surveying Natsume with quiet thoughtfulness. “You won’t answer?”

“You already know why,” Natsume mumbled.

“No, I do not.” Matoba stepped closer, and Natsume didn’t move away. “Could it be that it _does_ mean something?”

Natsume could hear his heartbeat pounding in his chest. His palms were sweaty and his jacket was far too warm. Could Matoba hear it too? How could Matoba just stand there, curious and unaffected?

“How can I trust you?” Natsume blurted out.

“Trust me?” Matoba blinked, looking thrown.

“Promises aren’t just for youkai.” Natsume held his ground. “What do you really want from me?”

“I thought I made it clear.”

“It isn’t clear!” Natsume resisted the urge to clench his fists in his coat pockets. “None of this makes sense.”

“I’m often told that love doesn’t make sense,” Matoba offered.

Natsume stared. “Love?” Natsume asked, his voice catching in his throat. “Do you love me?”

It was Matoba’s turn to fall silent.

“This is ridiculous.” Natsume whispered to himself. “Why am I even here?” He turned back to Matoba. “What do you even know about me?”

Matoba smiled at that, his teeth glittering threateningly under the moonlight. “More than you suspect.”

“Not about my personal life,” Natsume said angrily. “I meant about _me_.”

“You are both foolishly kind and reckless. You think that humans and youkai are the same.” Matoba folded his arms. “Is that what you’re asking me?”

“I thought you hated fools,” Natsume said bitterly.

“Usually, yes,” Matoba admitted. “But I think you understand me better than that, Natsume.”

Natsume flinched. He suddenly had a vivid flashback to the Miharu mansion. _Mihashira-sama is pitiful, isn’t it? Even after the family passed on, it keeps it’s promise…_ Matoba’s gaze had been so pained, as if he longed for someone who would keep such a promise with him.

“Was I right, back then?” Natsume looked up into Matoba’s eyes. “Were you sad?”

Matoba’s gaze softened, and Natsume absently-mindedly rubbed at his chest as a warm sensation welled up in his chest.

This wasn’t the answer to all of his worries. Natsume still remembered the advice Matoba had given him to use everything available to him. He still remembered how Matoba had manipulated him to his own ends in the past.

But this was a start.

Far off, a dog howled, and the moonlit spell was broken. Natsume sighed, feeling as if he’d just been pulled out of a lake. The quietness of the forest and the cold night air came back to him in full force, and Natsume shivered.

Matoba also seemed to come back to himself. He looked off in the direction of the howl, his eyes narrowed contemplatively. “You should go home,” he said, without looking at Natsume. “I should return to my home as well.”

Natsume blinked. “You never did say what you were doing here,” he suddenly remembered.

Matoba laughed, and Natsume felt another flush rising in is cheeks. “Come here.”

“I’m right here.” Natsumee frowned and stared up into Matoba’s eyes.

“Come closer.” The smile was still dancing around the edge of Matoba’s mouth. Natsume’s own mouth went dry, and he warily took a step closer.

Natsume cried out as Matoba suddenly dragged him forward, one hand wrapped around his wrist in a vice grip, and his other arm wrapping around his back to hold him in place.

“This is by my own volition,” Matoba said quietly, holding Natsume in place even as Natsume attempted to get away, “unlike the last time.”

Natsume paused in his attempt to push Matoba away with his free hand. “The spirit was trying to get you to hug me?” he asked uncertainly.

Matoba was quiet for a moment. “It seemed to think that it was something that I wanted to do.”

“How can you say that with a straight face?” Natsume gently pulled his hand back, and Matoba slowly let him go.

Matoba didn’t lose his composure easily. He was still standing there, graceful, elegant, with his mildly ominous aura surrounding him. He stood there easily, comfortable in his own skin, as if he hadn’t just admitted that he had feelings for the boy before him.

Normally, something like this would irritate Natsume to no end. Tonight, though, he couldn’t bring himself to mind too much.

“Good night, Natsume.” Matoba gave him one last fleeting look, and then walked out of the clearing, the end of his hair whipping into the shadows.

Natsume stared after him for a moment. He wasn’t totally sure what had happened tonight. Maybe, tomorrow, it would feel like a dream.

Natsume turned around and walked home, quietly slipping back into the house and up the stairs. He hesitated, and then changed his clothes and buried them in the hamper. He tucked the necklace back under his shirt, and climbed back into the futon, curling up under the warm covers.

Natsume closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. When he woke up the next morning, Nyanko-sensei was snoring by his head, and then sun was just rising in the east. Natsume carefully got out of bed without waking sensei and slipped off into the bathroom. A quick shower would probably good, to throw off any questions he might have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Natsume/Nishimura arc was honestly one of my favorites. Nishimura is such a sweetie!!! And WHOA we get massive MatoNatsu interactions. (I'm sorry about OOCness T__T). I hope you guys enjoyed! Let me know what you think in the comments below!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

By the time Nyanko-sensei woke up, Natsume had already showered. Nyanko shot a suspicious look at his laundry basket, but said nothing as Natsume puttered around his room, putting his bag together.

“Where are we going this early?” Nyanko began grooming his paws. “You don’t have school today, right?”

“Right.” Natsume tucked the book of friends into the bag. “There’s something I want to investigate.”

“Investigate?” Nyanko perked up at the idea of an adventure. “Where to?”

“Not far from here, actually.” Natsume swung the bag over his shoulder and reached down to pick up Nyanko. “I heard some spirits talking on the way home from school.”

“Hmmmm.” Nyanko purred as Natsume scratched behind his ears with one hand. “Let’s go!”

“Takashi?” Touko blinked at him as he rushed through the kitchen, snagging some bread and fruit. “Where are you off to?”

“I have a school project that I need to start.” Natsume stuffed one piece of bread in his mouth and gave the other to Nyanko. He put the fruits in his bag and began tying his shoelaces. “I’ll be back later!”

“Okay—“ Touko started to call out, but her words were lost when Natsume flung himself out the door, closing it behind him.

“Why are we in such a hurry?” Nyanko complained. “I’m going to choke on this bread.”

“Easier to run outside than explain,” Natsume said breathlessly.

“You’re always going off in a rush,” Nyanko complained, with no real ill will. Since they were running, they reached the place Natsume had met Matoba at last night fairly quickly, and Natsume flopped down onto a tree root to catch his breath.

Nyanko sniffed the ground and turned his nose up. “I smell exorcists,” he said flatly. “Just what kind of rumors did you hear, Natsume?”

Natsume hesitated. He hadn’t heard any rumors, but if Matoba was involved, it couldn’t be anything good. Was he so foolish to believe that if he intervened now, maybe he could mediate the situation?

“Well, even if I said we should go back now, you would ignore me.” Nyanko-sensei settled down at Natsume’s feet and licked demurely at his paw. “I suppose we can stay a little longer.”

Natsume blinked in surprise, but didn’t contest it. He was curious—what could prompt Matoba to come out and personally deal with something himself?

“Let’s keep looking,” Natsume said after a moment. Something about this clearing was making him feel uneasy, but he couldn’t quite place it.

Nyanko got to his feet, and together they started walking around the roots of the tree.

“Natsume?”

Natsume felt a pang of déjà vu, and turned around. Today, Matoba was on the other side of the clearing, and he had an oddly pleased smile on his face.

Natsume felt his heartbeat quicken, but then scolded himself. Tonight wasn’t like their encounter last night—they weren’t caught in a spell, admitting vulnerabilities to each other. Even if Matoba had told him that he loved him, Natsume still couldn’t really trust him.

“What are you doing here?”

“I could ask the same of you.” Matoba took another step forward.

Nyanko growled lowly beside him. “Just say the word, and he’ll be dust Natsume.”

“Well, that would be rather problematic.” Matoba smiled demurely, and took another step forward. “I thought your feelings toward me might have changed, kitty…Perhaps Natsume has been keeping secrets—“

“Stop!” Natsume instinctively lunged forward—to do what, he didn’t know; anything to stop Matoba from finishing his sentence.

Matoba’s smile widened, and Natsume looked down at the ground. He watched, horrified, as two twin trails of glowing paper erupted from the tree root, binding his wrists and ankles. Natsume fell to the ground with a yelp, rolling onto his shoulder to avoid hitting his head.

Nyanko-sensei transformed in an instant, white mist rolling across his fur as he lunged at Matoba; but Matoba was fast, seizing on the shock of the situation, and he lunged forward, slapping a paper seal onto Madara’s snout. There was a puff of smoke, and Nyanko fell motionless to the ground with a loud thump.

“Nyanko-sensei!” Natsume gasped, trying to get to his feet, only to stumble and fall back on his side when his bound ankles got in the way.

“Natsume…” Nyanko coughed feebly. The seal covered both of his eyes, and Natsume’s eyes widened in shock when two of Matoba’s shiki slithered around him and picked up Nyanko-sensei before retreating behind their master.

Natsume winced as pain erupted in his shoulder, and he yelped and fell back on his back, unable to bear putting weight on it.

“Matoba-sama?” An unfamiliar voice called out. Natsume breathed heavily, trying to keep from crying out in pain again. “Everything is prepared.”

“Excellent.” Matoba stepped back from his previous position to stand over Natsume.

“What…” Natsume grit his teeth as a spasm of pain wracked his upper back. Had his fall dislocated his shoulder? He’d had hard falls before, but nothing this painful. Or perhaps, this was a result of the seals binding his hands and feet. “What are you doing?”

“Just be good and wait.” Matoba smiled pleasantly at him.

Natsume tried to kick out at him with his bound ankles, and instantly regretted it when his entire body protested.

“You don’t have to be like this,” Natsume insisted weakly. “You…”

“It’s best like this,” Matoba said simply, his eyes trained on the sky above the clearing.

Natsume stopped trying to lash out and tried to assess the situation. He had _no_ idea what was going on—he’d foolishly come back here, only for Matoba to attack and bind both him and Nyanko-sensei. The book of friends jutted into his hip, and Natsume considered using it, but then brushed the thought aside—there was no reason to jump to such drastic measures yet. But what was Matoba planning?

Natsume’s eyes widened, and a chill ran through his body. Something was coming towards them.

Natsume rolled up onto his knees. “Something’s coming!” He glared up at Matoba. “What are you planning?”

Matoba just hummed softly, one hand reaching back to pull an arrow from the quiver on the back, the other holding his bow steadily.

Natsume’s mouth went dry. “An exorcism?” He whispered, even as the forest rustled ominously, a great wind came barreling towards them, almost knocking Natsume off of his knees.

A soft moaning emerged from the sound of the wind in the trees. Natsume fell forwards onto his elbows, bracing himself against the wind. A huge ayakishi, bigger than Nyanko-sensei with a huge body dripping black shadows and a maw full of frighteningly sharp teeth flew towards them.

Natsume opened his mouth to scream just as Matoba fired the arrow. It landed squarely in the ayakishi’s forehead, piercing the huge mask covering its face.

The ayakishi stopped suddenly, and the wind died down. The arrow shattered the mask, and four red eyes were revealed in the mass of dark shadows. The ayakishi groaned, and its body developed to tendrils that went up to its forehead to pull on the arrow.

Matoba’s shiki servants ran out towards it, striking at it with wooden spears enforced by seals. Matoba notched another arrow on his bow, his eyes searching for the right moment to fire, and Natsume kept quiet, not daring to break his concentration.

Matoba released the bow from the string, and it struck the spirit in the center of its four eyes, right next to the first arrow. Natsume watched in fascinated horror as the the shiki struck down on the ayakishi with their seals again and again, weakening the spirit.

Matoba raised his fingers to his lips and murmured a soft phrase that Natsume couldn’t quite catch, and the ayakishi exploded into a sphere of light and wind. Natsume was knocked off of his knees to the ground and his head hit the forest floor with a harsh thunk.

Natsume let out a groan and kept his eyes shut. His ears were ringing, his head hurt, and there were spots of color dancing behind his eyelids from the brightness of the exorcism.

“Natsume?”

Natsume kept his eyes shut, trying to recollect himself. “What…?”

There were a pair of hands suddenly cradling his head, the fingers kneading through his hair.

A thumb pressed into a sensitive spot and Natsume whimpered, drawing back.

“Oh dear,” Matoba sighed, gently keeping Natsume’s head in place. “That’ll be quite a bruise.”

“Matoba?” Natsume cautiously opened his eyes, and then sat bolt upright. “How long…?”

“It’s only been a few minutes from the exorcism.” Matoba stayed where he was, his fingers curling around nothing.

Natsume looked out across the clearing and saw Matoba’s two arrows on the ground, the tip and shafts slightly burnt. He frowned when he saw several spears with sealing tags also lying on the ground. “What happened to your shiki?”

Matoba folded his hands in his lap. “An unfortunate consequence of the exorcism.”

Natsume narrowed his eyes. “You knew it would happen,” he said quietly.

“I suspected that it might,” Matoba said agreeably.

Natsume’s hands curled into fists, and he was suddenly reminded of his bonds. “Release me.” He glared fiercely at Matoba.

“Hmmm.” Matoba considered him. “Your legs perhaps. We can treat your wounds at my base.”

“As if I would go anywhere with you!” Natsume’s mouth set into a thin line. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry—the youkai had been exorcised, but Matoba had just casually cast aside his own servants to do it, Nyanko-sensei was still bound, and his head and back _hurt_.

“I can release your legs or not at all.”

Natsume sighed. “Fine.”

Matoba pulled a knife from his kimono, and Natsume instinctively recoiled, but Matoba just sliced through the ropes on his ankles and let the bindings flutter loose.

“Where’s the rest of your clan?” Natsume asked, gingerly craning his neck to look around.

“They saw that the job was done, and left,” Matoba said simply. “I have a car waiting a short walk away.”

Natsume awkwardly pushed himself to his feet and looked around for Nyanko-sensei.

“Another one of my shiki has already taken your kitty back to the mansion,” Matoba said, before Natsume said anything. “Don’t worry.”

Natsume gave him a disdainful look and followed him out of the forest in silence.

To Natsume’s surprise, Matoba seemed to have driven himself out to the forest. He wondered why; had Matoba just wanted to be alone with him again? But he surely wasn’t expecting anything from Natsume now—not after he’d kidnapped him, used him as bait to lure in a bounty, and also bound Nyanko-sensei.

Natsume gritted his teeth. He hated things like this—it was true, he tried to be kind, but he wasn’t _stupid_. He hated being used.

Matoba helped him out of the car, and they went in through the front door. Natsume kept his eyes trained forward, ignoring the other clan members greeting Matoba. He was being brought here, bound like a prisoner, and he actually hadn’t done anything wrong this time. Natsume wondered what was going to happen to him now—was he going to get locked up in a cell, as Matoba seemed to have a penchant for doing?

But, to his wary surprise, Matoba just led him through the shadowy halls until they reached a large room. They stepped inside, Natsume mumbling a polite greeting as they went, and Matoba pointed him towards a low table surrounded by cushions. The sliding door to the veranda was open, and Natsume rested his arms on the table, staring outside.

Matoba was shuffling around in a separate, connected room for a few moments before he emerged with a small box of medical supplies.

They still hadn’t spoken a word, and Natsume felt slightly uncomfortable. At the same time, he didn’t know what to say—he could hardly thank Matoba for bringing him here.

“I’m going to cut your wrists free.” Matoba pulled the knife out of his kimono and set it on the table. “Don’t try anything.”

Natsume hesitated, thinking about it—but then his shoulder and head throbbed at the same time, and he could barely keep a straight face through the pain. “Fine.”

Matoba smirked and cut the bonds, letting Natsume stretch his arms out for a moment before putting them down on the table. He pulled out several rubbing alcohol wipes, bacterial ointment and a roll of gauze before getting to work, applying himself to Natsume’s injuries.

Natsume watched him silently for a few minutes, holding back shivers when Matoba would gently trace along his arm, checking for any cuts of abrasions.

Finally, he spoke up. “Why are you doing this?”

“Hmm?” Matoba gave him a distracted glance. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“This isn’t some kind of apology?” Natsume asked skeptically. “Given everything that just happened, how can you think that this would _fix_ anything?”

Matoba finished his inspection of Natsume’s arm and sat back, his red eyes peering closely at Natsume’s face. “You’re upset,” he said at last.

“You tricked me,” Natsume said flatly. “Our meeting last night—was that just a ploy to lure me out to the forest?”

“I was honestly not expecting to find you last night.” Matoba leaned his cheek onto his palm. “Sometimes, I think you give me far too much credit.”

“So this was an accident?” Natsume glared. “You had those bonds prepared for me to walk into.”

“That’s true.” Matoba seemed unperturbed. “But, if you recall, those bonds are meant for youkai. What if I had meant for the bounty I was hunting to fall into the trap instead?”

“I saw your face,” Natsume said coldly, “and I don’t believe that it was an accident.”

“Hmm.” Matoba continued looking at him with that calm, clear gaze.

“Do you not understand why I might be angry with you?” Natsume clenched his fists, ignoring how his cuts and bruises tightened along his arms. “You lured me into a trap, used me as bait against an incredibly dangerous youkai without providing me the means to protect myself, brought me into your home like a prisoner, and the treatment of your own shiki! I’m not just a tool that you can use whenever you please! I thought…” Natsume faltered. Maybe he was being naïve—maybe he shouldn’t have taken so much for granted. Matoba wasn’t the same as Natori or his school friends. He was always looking for tools and what could be used and what couldn’t be used. Even if he loved Natsume, maybe his concept of love was different from Natsume’s.

Matoba was still staring at him, and Natsume forced himself to withdraw from his thoughts. “Say something,” Natsume said quietly. “Please.”

Matoba’s eyes had softened from calm quietude into something a little warmer. “Would you have come helped me if I called?”

“Not on such short notice,” Natsume admitted after a moment. “And…I’m sure Sensei would’ve had some questions that would have been difficult to answer.”

“I see.” Matoba seemed to meditate on the answer.

“Could you have come up with a different plan, that didn’t involve me being defenseless?”

“Perhaps.” Matoba sat up straight, letting his arm fall to the table. “I apologize. I see now that things between us are different.” He tilted his head to the side slightly. “You can agree that in the past, I simply would have forced your hand.”

Natsume sighed quietly. “I suppose…”

“Perhaps we should set some boundaries.” Matoba traced a knot of wood on the table. “I will agree to ask you for your help in the future, rather than force you.”

Natsume scoffed and looked away.

“You don’t believe me?”

Natsume turned his gaze to Matoba, his hand moving automatically to touch the ring under his shirt. “I don’t know what to believe.”

“I suppose that’s fair.” Matoba began packing up the box. “Let me take a look at your head and your back.”

Natsume looked at him for a moment. Maybe Matoba was being honest—or maybe this was all a game. Natsume opened his mouth to say that he was fine, only to collapse forward as his back spasmed again.

“Oh dear.” Matoba put a gentle hand on Natsume’s side, guiding him out of his sitting position to lie down on the floor. “Can you take off your shirt?”

Natsume stared up at him. “Is that necessary?”

“Yes.”

Natsume carefully rolled onto his side and unbuttoned his shirt with shaking hands, shrugging it off. He only had a thin undershirt on underneath, but Matoba didn’t ask him to take it off, so Natsume rolled back onto his stomach.

“What are you going to do?”

Matoba was leaning over him, gently prodding at his upper back. Natsume let out a yelp of pain, and Matoba paused.

“I’m sorry about this.”

“What?”

Matoba braced one hand on Natsume’s spine, and used the other to jerk his shoulder back.

Natsume screamed in pain, his arching up off of the floor as white-hot pain seared through his back. He shut his eyes and grit his teeth, frantically willing the pain to go away. After a few minutes, it simmered down, and Natsume realized that he had clenched his fists around something soft, and his head was being supported by something.

Matoba must have moved, because now, Natsume was lying in front of him, clinging to his robes and crying into his knees like a child.

“Don’t move.” Matoba put his hand on Natsume’s neck to stop him. “Let the pain pass.”

Natsume, to his utter embarrassment, opened his mouth only to let out a small whimper.

“I had to pop your shoulder back in place,” Matoba informed him. “You should go home, rest, and take some pain medicine.”

“Sensei…” Natsume mumbled.

“Will be returned to you shortly.”

Natsume just focused on breathing in and out as the pain slowly subsided.

“Thankfully you don’t seem to have sustained any severe head injuries.” Matoba’s fingers were gently carding through his hair, carefully avoiding the tender spots on Natsume’s scalp.

Natsume turned his head slightly, sighing in relief as Matoba’s fingers distracted him from the pain.

“I’m sorry,” Matoba said softly, almost as if he didn’t want Natsume to hear him.

Natsume didn’t know how to respond. This was different from Matoba’s normally glib apologies, waving away his actions as if they were simple misunderstandings. It sounded sincere.

There was the sound of a door opening, and the sound of soft footsteps.

“Don’t be fooled Natsume,” a familiar voice growled. “Matoba is always up to no good.”

Natsume gasped and sat bolt upright, knocking Matoba’s hands free from his head. “Sensei?!” Natsume reached out and pulled Nyanko-sensei into his lap with shaking hands. “Have you just been wandering around blind?!” Natsume felt a beat of relief that Nyanko hadn’t seen him in such an intimate position with Matoba; but then he felt a surge of guilt as he gazed sadly at the seal binding his cat. This was all his fault.

“I used my nose you brat,” Nyanko said, cheerfully cuddling into Natsume’s lap.

Natsume reached for the paper covering Nyanko’s eyes, but Matoba cleared his throat.

“You can’t just rip it off. It requires a special blade.” Matoba got to his feet and went to a small table, shifting through piles of papers and envelopes.

Natsume narrowed his eyes.

“I won’t hurt him,” Matoba said calmly, holding a letter opener in his hands. If Natsume looked closely, he could see a series of symbols twisting around the handle. “This was a gift from Natori, by the way.”

“Is that supposed to make us trust it?” Natsume asked skeptically.

“I thought it might put you at ease.” Something odd shifted in Matoba’s expression, but Natsume couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

Natsume watched carefully as Matoba removed the paper from Nyanko’s eyes. It didn’t escape him that Matoba didn’t remove part of the seal wrapping around Nyanko’s round stomach.

“Much better.” Nyanko puffed out his fur as if he were about to transform into his true form, but nothing happened. “What kind of tricks are you trying to pull, you cursed exorcist?!”

“I would rather not be eaten,” Matoba said, his eye crinkling up into a fake smile. “Natsume, you can remove the rest of the seal after you exit my property.”

“Don’t listen to him Natsume! Let me give him a piece of my mind!” Nyanko bristled at Matoba, but Natsume just picked him up.

“We would like to leave now.” Natsume got to his feet, keeping his arms tight around Nyanko’s squirming body.

“Of course.” Matoba got to his feet. “I’ll show you out.”

Their walk out of the mansion was mostly silent except for Nyanko’s continuous grumblings of threats against Matoba.

Natsume startled when he felt Matoba slip something into his pants pocket. He turned his head to look at Matoba, but Matoba wasn’t looking at him. Natsume frowned, and clutched Nyanko tighter.

They reached the entrance to the mansion, and Nyanko squirmed out of Natsume’s arms, making a beeline for the open gate.

Natsume turned to Matoba. “I hope our next meeting won’t be like this.”

“Yes,” Matoba said quietly, turning to face Natsume. “It won’t be.”

Natsume flushed. What was he waiting for? He should just leave. He opened his mouth to say goodbye, but Matoba was reaching towards him.

“Your collar is crooked.” Matoba’s long fingers smoothed the unruly flap down. Natsume flushed when he felt Matoba’s fingers pause over where he could feel the necklace through the shirt.

“Natsume!” Nyanko called from the gate. “Let’s go!”

Natsume jerked away from the soft touch, unable to hide the faint flush on his cheeks. “Goodbye!” He ran off after Nyanko. Outside of the gates, Natsume crouched down and peeled the rest of the seal off Nyanko’s stomach.

Nyanko transformed in a flash, and Natsume climbed onto his back, nestling into the soft fur as Madara launched himself into the air.

Later that night, Natsume put his hand in his pocket, and his fingers bumped into something. Natsume pulled it out, and he found himself staring down at a business card.

Natsume snorted a little at the gaudy red and gold color scheme, but the laughter died in his throat when he flipped it over and saw a phone number scrawled on the back.

He glanced over at Nyanko-sensei, but saw that he was snoozing away on his cushion. Natsume pulled out his phone and quickly keyed in the new contact.

He didn’t know precisely who the phone number was for, but he had a guess. Natsume threw the card in the wastebasket and put his phone down on his desk. A small smile curled at the edge of his lips, and it stayed for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo a long chapter! Sorry it took forever, but I had a few real life things to deal with. Initially the story was only going to be 5 chapters, but it seems to have turned into something else, so I'm not sure long it'll actually be. Thanks so much for reading, and comments are always appreciated!!


	6. Chapter Six

 

 

Natsume took a deep breath and stared at his phone.

 _Just send it._ His thumb hovered over the keys as he tried to gather his courage.

“What’re you doing, brat?”

Natsume yelped and instinctively sent the message before snapping his phone shut. “Don’t creep up on me sensei!”

“Serves you right,” Nyanko sniffed and twisted around to groom himself. “What were you doing? You’ve been sighing and staring at your phone for the past _hour_. It’s pissing me off.”

“Oh.” Natsume wracked his brains. “I was just thinking that I hadn’t heard anything from Natori.”

Nyanko paused. “Sometimes, it’s best when you don’t hear anything from exorcists.”

Natsume snorted and lay back. “That’s true,” he said amiably. Natori had returned two weeks ago, and Natsume hadn’t heard from him yet, but he wouldn’t be surprised if he did soon. Besides—it hadn’t really been Natori he’d been texting anyways.

“I’m heading out.” Nyanko toddled to his feet and stretched. “Be a good boy and stay home.”

Natsume laughed as Nyanko sprang out the window, but the moment he was gone, the smile faded from his lips. Nyanko would be out the whole day, greeting an old friend who had come down to the valley from the mountains.

His phone buzzed, and Natsume flipped it open. There was only an address, but Natsume felt his heart beat slightly faster. This wouldn’t be their secret meeting; they’d already met twice before. But still, every time, Natsume found himself hesitating to contact Matoba.

Natsume turned to his bag in the corner of the room. As he continued to keep seeing Matoba, the Book of Friends seemed to lay heavier and heavier against his side. He felt like he was betraying the ayakishi within the book, putting them all in danger because of his own selfish desires—and for what? If he wanted to keep them a secret from Matoba, he would have to end things eventually.

Natsume made sure the book was tucked securely away beneath his futon before shrugging his jacket over his shoulders and wrapping a scarf around his neck.

He knew he’d have to do something eventually; however, for now, he’d happily enjoy these meetings while he could.  

“I’m going out!” Natsume called out as he passed through the house. “I’ll be back in a couple hours!”

“Alright!” Touko called out. “Keep your cellphone on!”

“Okay.” Natsume tugged his shoes on and headed out of the house. They always met in a discrete location, away from both their houses—Natsume didn’t want to start getting associated with the Matoba estate, and Matoba had amiably agreed.

Natsume glanced down at his phone again. If he remembered right, today, they would be meeting at a quiet tea place in the middle of town. Natsume turned the corner and entered the store. He hadn’t picked any of their meeting places so far, and Natsume had to begrudgingly admit that Matoba had good taste. The place was quiet and had private rooms, but didn’t have that overly gaudy air that Natsume had grown used to associating with the Matoba clan.

“Good afternoon sir.” A kindly old lady smiled at him from the front of the house. “Your companion arrived just a few moments ago and told us to expect you. Please allow me to escort you to the room.”

“Thank you.” Natsume followed her to the back of the shop. He instinctively flinched when he saw one of Matoba’s shiki standing in front of the curtain, but forced himself to act casual as the woman pulled back the curtain to reveal Matoba, already seated at one side of the table.

“Your tea will arrive shortly.” The woman pulled the curtain closed behind him, and Natsume quietly seated himself across from Matoba.

“You look anxious.”

“I’m not,” Natsume said firmly, and settled more comfortably into his seat. “I like this place. It seems peaceful.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Matoba started idly tracing rings on the tea table with his index finger, his fingers poised and elegant.

Natsume took advantage of Matoba’s temporary distraction, and rested his chin on his fist, staring steadily at the man sitting across from him. Today, Matoba was dressed in a suit—had he come here from a meeting? Or would he be on his way to one when their date was over?

“What’re you thinking about?”

Natsume blinked and realized that Matoba was staring straight at him. He felt his face heat up with embarrassment at being caught staring.

“You’re blushing.” Matoba’s voice was wry with amusement, and he lifted one of his hands to gently cup Natsume’s cheek.

Natsume held his breath. Physical contact was still rare between them, and every time, it felt like something precious.

There was a sound in the hallway, and they both quickly leaned away from each other just as a feminine hand reached through to pull the curtain back.

“Pardon the intrusion.” The old woman smiled kindly at them and lifted a tray with a teapot, two cups, and a variety of sweets onto their table. “Enjoy.”

“Thank you.” Natsume gave her a grateful smile as Matoba reached out to pour both of them tea.

She left, and Natsume turned to his tea, surveying the small selection of sweets before picking out a yellow lotus-shaped one.

“Something is weighing on your mind.” Matoba lifted his cup to his lips but didn’t take a sip. “You aren’t usually as quiet as this.”

“I was just thinking about how to phrase it.” Natsume took a bite of the sweet and chewed slowly. “It isn’t an easy thing to put into words.”

Matoba raised an eyebrow, and let the silence continue as Natsume kept thinking. How could he say this in a way that wouldn’t hurt Matoba’s feelings? He wasn’t doing this to try and hurt the other man—he was trying to do this so that they _wouldn’t_ get hurt.

“The way we treat spirits is different,” Natsume said at last. “We can’t agree on certain things.”

Matoba nodded, and Natsume sensed that Matoba was wary of the way the conversation was going.

“We are different people.” Matoba finally took a sip of his tea. “Surely, you didn’t expect us to see things the same way?”

“I didn’t,” Natsume said levelly, looking Matoba in the eye. “That being said, perhaps there is another…boundary we should set.”

“Another boundary?”

“You know, like when you agreed to start asking me for my help instead of forcing me to help you,” Natsume said, deadpan.

“Ah yes, how could I forget?” A small smile tugged at the corner of Matoba’s mouth.

“I think we should keep our work separate,” Natsume said flatly. “Unless we need to collaborate.”

“I was never overly interested in your affairs,” Matoba pointed out. “On the contrary, you seemed to stumble into mine.”

“That’s true.” Natsume frowned slightly—Matoba had never really bothered to seek him out, except for the one time he had written him a letter. But then Natsume had lost the letter, and Matoba hadn’t actually seen him returning a name or helping a spirit. “But still.”

Natsume waited with bated breath. Would Matoba agree? If he did, it didn’t exactly solve all of his problems, but it certainly helped a little bit. Natsume knew, deep in his heart, that Matoba must never learn about the Book of Friends. It was Matoba’s nature to use things as he saw fit, and even if Natsume could soften and persuade him over time, it would never be enough to satisfy Matoba’s curiosity.

“I think you’re right.” Matoba set his tea down on the table, and reached out across the table. Natsume thought he was reaching for a sweet, but at the last second, he tilted his hand away and rested it over Natsume’s.

Natsume flinched, but forced himself to stay where he was. Matoba’s hand wasn’t that much larger than his, and it was cool the touch. His palms were rough with calluses, but Natsume couldn’t really bring himself to mind.

“I see where you’re coming from. Although I’m not satisfied with how trusting you are towards ayakishi, I will leave you to your own devices, and you shall leave me to mine.” Matoba’s eyes were gentle as he looked at Natsume. “Unless you want to work together.”

Natsume smiled at him and hesitated. Finally, he worked up the courage to shift his palm back and lift his fingers, curling them around Matoba’s.

It wasn’t the first time they had held hands during their secret rendezvous, but Natsume still felt his cheeks heat up when he saw the flash of delight in Matoba’s eyes.

“So _this_ is where you’ve been.”

Natsume yelped and yanked his hand back so fast that he knocked his elbow into the table. His eyes watered with pain as he stared down at the floor, where Nyanko-sensei was surveying both him and Matoba, his eyes several shades lighter than normal.

“Oh dear.” Matoba flashed one of his fake, disarming smiles. “Hello, kitty. Please don’t eat me.”

“Harrumph!” Nyanko stuck his tongue out at Matoba and jumped up into Natsume’s lap, leaning out over the table to pilfer a sweet. “I suppose you’re safe this time.”

“Matoba’s shiki…?” Natsume glanced at the curtain.

“He should get smarter shiki,” Nyanko said simply, munching on his sweet. “Listen up, you exorcist scum. Natsume is still under my protection. You might fool _him_ with whatever sweet promises you might’ve offered him, but you can’t fool me. One wrong move, and I’ll eat you faster than you can blink.”

“But of course.” Matoba’s smile had relaxed slightly, his eyes opening to reveal a hint of true amusement. “I would expect nothing less from such a powerful guardian.”

“Nyanko-sensei…” Natsume trailed off, fear and shame bubbling in his stomach. His arms tightened slightly around Nyanko’s fat belly, but Nyanko didn’t comment. Natsume hesitantly lifted his hand up to pat Nyanko’s head, and when Nyanko didn’t try to move away or scratch at his hand, Natsume gently stroked behind Nyanko’s ears, trying to convey how relieved he felt that Nyanko wasn’t angry with him.

Eventually, Natsume and Matoba started talking again, about Natsume’s school and an upcoming festival for a mountain god, far away in another province. Nyanko-sensei wiggled out of Natsume’s arms and hopped up onto the table, guarding the platter of sweets with his body. Neither Natsume nor Matoba attempted to take any more, and simply sat, talking quietly and drinking their tea.

Afterwards, when Natsume was on his way home with Nyanko-sensei trotting along at his side, he thought the meeting had a very warm feeling about it—almost as warm as when he was eating dinner with the Fujiwaras. Natsume smiled slightly at the thought, but his smile faded slightly when he glanced down at Nyanko.

“Sensei…”

“What is it, brat?” Nyanko-sensei shot him a look.

“You aren’t upset?” Natsume asked hesitantly. “I know this is a bad idea, for multiple reasons.”

“You’re right.” Nyanko stopped walking, and Natsume stopped too. “This is a very bad idea. If Matoba finds out about the Book of Friends, we’re doomed. If spirits find out that you’re associating with Matoba, they will consider you an unworthy holder of the Book of Friends.”

Natsume swallowed hard. So had Nyanko-sensei just been putting on an act for the whole afternoon? But it had seemed so peaceful. A lump formed in Natsume’s throat, and he struggled not to make a sound.

“However,” Nyanko-sensei continued, “I’m not like that Natori brat. You’re a human—you’ll always seem young and foolish to me, but I can respect your ability to choose for yourself. You’re not the same kid who stumbled into my shrine and set me free, years ago. You even think things through sometimes. I’ll let you handle your own decisions.”

“Sensei.” Natsume stared down at his guardian speechlessly. The fact that Nyanko-sensei had so much faith in him made him warm inside, but it also made him desperate to prove that Nyanko deserved that trust.

“However, I will say this.” Nyanko’s eyes darkened to the deepest black, and Natsume shivered. “If Matoba does find out about the Book of Friends, I _will_ eat him. It must be done.”

Natsume wanted to protest, but at the same time, he knew he couldn’t. The Book of Friends wasn’t something for the greedy and curious to find out about. “Okay,” he said simply. “Okay.”

“Hmph!” Nyanko licked at his paw and used it to smooth some fluff down behind his ear. “I’ll race you back home!”

“Wha—hey!” Natsumed ran off after him. “Wait for me!”

By the time they reached the Fujiwara household, Natsume could almost believe that things really would be okay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry this chapter took a little while to post--I just started up school again, so things got a little busy. Believe it or not, I think we are getting close-ish to the end of our story...maybe 1 or 2 more chapters to go! Thanks for reading, and comments are always greatly appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Not all the chapters will be this short! I hope to put the next one up in a few days. Thanks for reading and enjoying; comments are always appreciated!


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